By now, you’ve likely had a chance to take our quiz from last week. Maybe, however, you didn’t feel as if the options given quite fit your personality. Never fear – we have a second quiz for you, designed to pigeonhole you into a character type often seen in Mizer’s films. Are you a rugged cowboy? A dirty hippie? Answer these nine questions and figure out where you best fit in the Mizer cinematic universe.
What is your favorite genre of music?
D. Folk music
E. Top 40
Pick a hairstyle
A. Messy and tousled
B. Modern and stylish
C. Slicked back
D. Long and in a ponytail
Which quality is most important in a mate?
B. A nice butt
E. A sense of humor
Pick one of Bob Mizer’s animals
Which superhero do you most identify with?
D. Iron Man
What was your favorite subject in school?
E. What school? I skipped most of my classes.
What is your worst quality?
A. People tell me I’m kind of boring.
B. I can be moody sometimes.
C. I tend to love people too freely and easily.
D. Sometimes my big mouth can get me into trouble.
E. I’m known for being impetuous and irresponsible, but at least I’m fun.
What body part on a man attracts you to him instantly?
A. His dick – duh!
B. His firm, round butt
C. His eyes
D. His hands or feet
E. His chest
What type of vacation would you prefer?
A. A short trip to see friends and family
B. A road trip across the country in a Winnebago
C. A vacation to London, Paris or Rome
D. A camping trip, a hike and a commune with nature
E. I’d rather stay at home, watch Netflix and eat pizza
If you answered mostly ‘A,’ you’re the cowboy. Yours is a simple and sometimes lonely life, but you enjoy your solitude. Sexually, you’re not very adventurous, but you’re a loyal friend to those who have penetrated your hard exterior shell. You value tradition and routine above all else. You’d never even think about going on a date with a greaser, but if you did, he’d break it off by calling you “like, a total square, daddy-o.”
If you answered mostly ‘B,’ you’re the Latin lover. You’re passionate. You’re soulful. You eschew tradition in favor of the unpredictable. You’ve lived a life of excitement and you’re known for your incessant lovemaking, which leaves all of your lovers satisfied and exhausted. Some people might call you a slut, but you know you’re just ‘generous,’ that’s all.
If you answered mostly ‘C,’ you’re the gladiator. Much like the cowboy, you have a no-frills approach to life. Your brute physical strength is one of your greatest assets, but you’re also analytical and never call a guy for a second date without weighing the pros and cons. You think this is your most admirable quality, but really, let’s face it – the fellas are really impressed with the way you can crack open a walnut with your thighs. You gym rat, you.
If you answered mostly ‘D,’ you’re the hippie. Your mantra is, “If it feels good, do it.” Free love – and lots of it – is what you seek out of life. You advocate for a better world for all, and people are drawn to you for your outgoing personality. It sure as hell isn’t because you mooch off of your friends’ mozzarella sticks at Applebee’s. Get a job, freeloader.
If you answered mostly ‘E,’ you’re the inmate. Rough around the edges and oozing with testosterone, the only life you’ve known is one behind bars. You’ve seen the business end of both a switchblade knife and a policeman’s nightstick, and chances are good that you’ve used both during your sexual roughhousing with your incarcerated brethren. Always up for a good fight, your reputation as a man’s man is unmatched. Well, except for that one time you bottomed for the cowboy. But we won’t tell anyone about that. Pinkie swear.
Still don’t see your personality type represented here? Let us know where you’d fit in a Bob Mizer film.